Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, actually it is. However, we don’t do this enough, and some people don’t allow those of us who want to, to do it.
Helping others is the most unselfish act a person can do. It is rewarding for the person who does it, and appreciated by the person who receives it. Well, most people do, at least that’s what I like to believe. I know that I have had trouble, in the past, accepting help. Why? Many different reasons: not believing anyone would want to help me, feeling too proud to ask, telling myself, ‘I can do it’, you know the drill. It took me a long time to understand that the person who helps out generally does it sincerely, without wanting anything in return. At least, that’s how I am. I expect nothing back from those I help because I sincerely want to do it…..I feel happy knowing I have made someone’s life a little easier, even if for a minute or two.
Today I helped out someone who is very important to me – he, at first, was not really open to the idea, thinking the same reasons I mentioned above. I unagressively offered my help and after a while, he accepted. While he was nothing but nice to me, he was so mad at himself. He kept saying ‘I’m sorry’ – but I answered, with a smile: ‘Cheri, if the tables were turned, wouldn’t you be helping me out’? He grinned and said’ ‘Yeah…’ So there you have it…. a simple answer….
So if ever you offer your help, feel good about it. If you are the person on the receiving end of this help, ACCEPT it with a smile, tell the person you appreciate their gesture (but don’t be a drama queen) and ENJOY being taken care of….believe me, you deserve it!
How important is this? In my opinion, inner peace is the KEY to happiness in your life. I have spent many years with much inner turmoil, self-loathing (and being in denial about them) but am happy to say that for a good six months now, I have found a state of peace that is profound and real.
What ‘woke me’ up? Getting sick (depression) in 2007, then deciding I had to somehow get out of the self-destructive rut I was in. So I started reading about meditation, practising it, reading Deepak Chopra and other experts on this phenomenon, and being AWARE. Thanks to Eckhart Tolle for that one! I no longer get my underwear in a knot over the small stuff; I try to see things in the “big picture”. Doing this has made and kept me calm.
I also recently changed jobs – left a job I loved because I couldn’t keep or maintain anything that remotely resembled any ‘inner peace’ – I was fortunate enough to find a new job that allows me to do what I love yet have a more balanced lifestyle. No more roller coaster days, (well I may have some, from time to time, but before it was constant) just doing a good job at a healthy pace. I wish such a luxury to you all…..
Finally, I recently found my ‘soul mate’ – and have found such a profound connection with him that calms me in a way I cannot describe. I have never, ever been this calm inside. I am excited but yet calm. :-)
So if you are on a quest for such a feeling, I suggest you check out the following:
- anything by Eckhart Tolle (Oprah loves him!) http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/
- anything by Deepak Chopra http://www.chopra.com/
- The Omega Institute http://eomega.org/
Good luck to you….
Well, Thanksgiving weekend just ended. While I didn’t eat or cook a turkey, I had one of the most amazing weekends in my life. I am thankful for everything I have, but even more so today. We often forget the little things in life that make our lives so big and special. I am happy to say that I am aware of all I have – sure I have a great job, a wonderful condo in a fantastic area, a great car I love, but none of these things are what I really need. PEOPLE are what make all the difference…
Be thankful for that. I know I am…
It’s late, I have to work in the morning, but I’m wide awake…I feel so blessed these days and I have to write about it. I am usually a pretty happy and appreciative person, be it towards things or people. However, I must admit that people are more important than things to me.(and believe me, I REALLY like nice things!) In this past week, my friends have been especially kind and generous, more than I almost ever thought possible. Some have been generous with ‘things’ I need, others have been generous with their words and some, and these are VERY special people, have been so generous with both. And I’m realizing although both are important in life, it’s the ‘non-tangible’ things that win out. As far as receiving ‘non tangible’ gifts,well this week has been like Christmas times 10.
I have never been that close to my family, so my friends, for as long as I can remember, have been extremely important to me; they affect how I feel, what I do, the person I strive to be. I’ve had my ups-and-downs in friendships but now, in 2010, my ‘real’ friends are the most precious gifts I have received. They love me unconditionally, they make me smile, and I know, deep down, that they are there for me…no matter what! They want nothing but my well-being and happiness and just by ‘being themselves’ enrich my life enormously. If any of “you” read this, please know how much I value your love and friendship and that I will NEVER, ever take it for granted, not even for one minute. I have been through a rough couple of years, and those that have stood by me, through thick and thin, have helped me become the peaceful person I am today.
This week has been even more special because without knowing it, my friends have come through so unselfishly and so naturally for me. Be it a kind word, a short ‘cou-cou’ in an email, or a phone call, my friends have been my wings, my safety net. All this without me having to beg or plead for it. They just sort of seem to know what I need and immediately oblige. That, is the most precious gift of all. If I had to measure my ‘richness in the friendship department’ right now, I would easily say I am a ‘gazillionaire’! Honestly and truly. Words cannot express how ‘full’ I feel and how loved I feel….despite my short-comings, my faults and everything else.
Now I know some will say, ‘It’s easy to be your friend, you give so much back’…..maybe. But I know that most people do not have the ‘I’ve got your back’ people that I do, nor in the numbers I do. I used to think that family did that; I have understood how wrong I was. Now I’m not saying my family wouldn’t help me in a time of crisis, but never would they be so accepting, giving and non-judgemental. My friends focus on the positive, give me supportive words, and help me ‘be’. I am absolutely blessed.
So think about your ‘I’ve got your back’ friends, and if you haven’t told them lately how much you love and appreciate them, DO IT NOW! You can do it in many ways, subtle or not-so-subtle…but please, do it.
I humbly hope that if any of my special friends read this post, they’ll know who they are….if not sure, ask me! But you are a group of phenomenal women, and because of you, I would not be the happy, at peace and content woman I am today. Thank you for who you are, what you are and what you believe in.
Well, I recently started a running program. Trying to get back in shape after a few years of being lax. I had valid reasons for being so, but still….I was an athlete in my youth and have always exercised in some way. I was in the best shape of my life at 34 – now 6 years later I have 30 pounds to lose! Turning 40 didn’t help me either. Now I must admit I didn’t watch what I ate, often ate for ‘emotional reasons’ and didn’t exercise, but it has really taken its toll. Add to the fact I’ve been taking medication that basically puts my metabolism at zero and there you have it: 40 pounds (I’m giving myself a more reasonable goal than 40 to lose) just crept up on me.
I went running tonight in the rain – the first time. My ‘runner’ friends told me running in the rain is great. I didn’t believe them until I did it. Somehow the rain, the wind, I don’t know, you feel like you have to ‘beat’ the elements and press on. My program is very accessible (thanks France) and hopefully next year I’ll be able to run 10 km without dying. This interval program is great – so I run 3 times a week. It’s good because I choose when. I try to go every 2 days or so, but I really like the flexibility. And what’s even better is the fact that at my new job, I’m not exhausted upon arriving home from work; I’m actually motivated! And running just before supper is great because after the run I’m less hungry…tonight I was hungry before my run, but once finished, felt full. I guess it was the water. I ate a salad and some spaghetti sauce (homemade by me) – I know what you’re thinking but I’ve been craving meat this week – and feel satisfied. So it’s all good.
I’ll go again on Friday – already looking forward to it. And I have yoga tomorrow – a colleague is giving us yoga classes at lunchtime for a very reasonable price. I’m hoping this will keep me balanced and tone up my old muscles! And the benefits on my mind are fantastic. I’m calm these days, calmer than I’ve been in a long time…another great thing!
I have had blogs before…but I never wrote faithfully. I think, however, I am ready finally to “commit’. I am not in the middle of a life crisis, have not lost my husband (did that a while ago), I just realize how important writing is to me. This blog will be a mish-mash of whatever I’m feeling at the time I write something.
I look forward to comments, wisdom, sharing of stories and advice.
Putting myself out there and trying as always, to ‘Think Outside the Box’!